One quote basically summarised (partly) what those experiences were:
"From this last year, I now know what I don’t want to be when I become a supervisor later on. I know I don’t want to be like her…. (Allison, PhD student)"

You can read it in full here.

In the midst of my interviewing activities, I have forgotten to update on my previous post. Anyway, my respondents have now reached 20 plus people. I am actually cringing over the thought that the numbers might reach 30 or even more. Transcription as have been expected is a different story altogether. I am ashamed to admit the numbers of transcription that I have completed (or not completed). What made it more complicated, when some of the interviews were bilingual. This means I have to do a double transcription for each and every one of those interviews. I would rather play with the children than DOING THAT!

To add to those complications, I have issues in arranging and save-keeping orderly and privately the audio files and transcription documents. I recently got the scare of my PhD ‘data collection’ life, when I lost track of one the transcriptions. I finally decided to upload all the files in Google Doc and put a lock & password on it…pheeewww….I now can keep track of the files safely and ensuring all the data privacy, even if - Allah forbids - I lost my physical storage in whatever forms that I have now.

I guess I should have done that a long time ago, even with the chapters I’m writing. It’s fairly very easy and up to a limit of 1 GB, everything (well most of everything) can be uploaded for free. I am using Google, since I have an account with them. There are basically a whole lot more place/space you can do it in the web, some with a small amount of premium per-annum/month. Happy saving!

Interviews requires a certain amount of skills & techniques. Lots of references out there will discuss most of those skills & techniques. However, when conducting interviews in Malaysia, there are some other matters that needs 'extra' consideration.

I personally think, in Malaysia most of the time when you are given the interview appointment, you are halfway there in your data collection. Once the appointment is given, most informants will not be holding back. They would usually share with you all the information you required from them.

But to get the consent to be interviewed is another story altogether. A lot depends on who the informants are or more specifically who they worked with.

TBC...

Study Leave...How can one be on leave and studying at the same time? Being on leave always have the connotation that you are free to do what you don't normally do when you are not on leave. Be it, taking a break or rest from work, go on holiday, enjoying the company of your family, etc..etc.. And I doubt study or in the postgraduate sense, research(ing something) is considered something you would want to freely/readily do during your leave ;-P

It gets worst & frustrating when others around you tend to have this misunderstanding that you are free to do whatever you want or feel like doing during your study leave. Only those in the same PhD hole would know that is a whole lot of BS! It makes you want to just wear a T-shirt plastered with "I may look like I am on leave but my brain is running up & down trying to finish my PhD!!" every time people ask you, how long are you going to be on leave or asking you to do something because they thought you are free to do them?

Being on a ‘study leave’ also, has the connotation that you are suppose to be on leave ‘more’ instead of studying. It does not reflect the fact that you are given the leave for a serious business - pursuing your study. It may also tricked you into thinking that you have all the time in world to finish your research, since you are on ‘leave’. And walla! Suddenly you have run out of your entitled leave, the fun part - ‘the leave’ is gone, yet the serious part - ‘the study’ has not been completed! :-(

I believe the term 'study leave' is somewhat inaccurate and has more negative connotations than positive ones. It should be changed into some other phrase/term, for instance perhaps ‘study exemption’ or some other phrase/term that rhymes closer to the reality of those being on study leave, especially PhD. So...any suggestions?

Four days in Singapore brought another perspective in my life; as a person, as a researcher, as a Malaysian. Maybe I will deal with it specifically some other time. I'm in no mood to report anything, other than my paper presentation went smoothly. I met with several friendly and interesting people and can't wait to be back some other time soon, Insya Allah. Suffice to say, NUS especially Asian Research Institute conducted a very well organised program! Not only that they invite you to participate, but they also pay you to come. Where on earth can find such programs nowadays....

Me - In the middle of promoting Dell PC ;-)

From left - Dr Maznah Mohamad (ARI Fellow - Malaysian), Prof Nurul Ilmi Idrus (Indonesian), next to me, Associate Prof Dr Rumaya Juhari (UPM, Malaysia)

My research presentation went smoothly today, Alhamdulillah. But one thing for sure, it leads to more queries and issues that need attending. Arrghhhh...when is it going to be over??? Feels like forever!

Alhamdulillah, my paper co-written with Kak Dayah entitled "Child Custody and Maintenance Decisions: A Case Study of Selected High Court Judgments in Malaysia from 1998-2008" was finally submitted last Wednesday, 2 days over the due date. I spent the Easter holiday, 2 of those days with Kak Dayah, completing the final draft. I personally felt that more could be done, but time is a major constraint and I had rather underestimate the resources that I need to finalise the paper. We went with it anyway, since I was given a grant to attend the conference & workshop by the organizer.

Thanks to Kak Dayah for some tips and ideas that sometimes did not cross my mind while rearranging the flow of the whole content. We are now in the midst of drafting the slides in preparation for the presentation in May at the National University Singapore. I will be presenting on behalf of both us. Hopefully we will be able to share & exchange ideas with the paper & the presentation, Insya Allah. Singapore....here I come! :-D

When discussing about conducting an ethical research, especially qualitative interviews, there are some issues that never crossed my mind before. For instance:

Do you know that, you can't approach a participant through his boss directly? Meaning you can't ask the boss to point out A, B or C and specifically ask them to participate in the interview. It will impose or unduely forcing them to do the interview, or else ...since it is the boss implied 'order'. The boss can only forward your participant invitation letter, but it's up to the potential participants whether to response to the invitation. This way the boss will never know who amongst his subordinates did or did not take part in the study - hence no adverse consequence to them.

Do you know that you can't simply record your interviews in audio or video format or even in writing without the respondents' explicit consent and assuring that if they do consent, the records of the interview will be stored securely and be disposed of, once the study is completed? It's the respondents' rights not to be recorded and if they do, for the data to be treated confidentially.

Do you also know that you have to give the partipants the right to withdraw from participation, even after the interviews had been conducted with them? It's the respondents' right to do so, but in order to be fair to both parties, (since it will create extra headache to the researcher, if everyone starts to withdraw after all the data have been included in the study's report) the researcher may include a 'sunset' clause, whereby the respondents is given up to for instance, 4 weeks to withdraw from the study, and lose the rights after the 4 weeks is over. This way, the respondents still have the right to withdraw in 4 weeks time and the researcher can start including the particular data into the analysis after the 4 weeks is over.

Hmmm...seems like a lot of work...paper & bureaucracy work :-(

(Photo Courtesy of Guardian.co.uk)

Hmmm.... a familiar picture? Finally, I have to be back at work. Not to say that all this while I am not working, I am...that is flexing all my muscle catering for the family and all. My break was short, and to tell you the truth, the complication of the baby's labour this time, really have some toll on me. But as they say "A Mother's Work is Never Done", so TRUE, but worst my "PhD Work will Never Get Done" if I keep with my current phase. So I must be strong for everybody and keep on going!

(Photo Courtesy of Replacements.Ltd)

Alhamdulillah, after almost 3 weeks, my EPU application to conduct research in Malaysia has been approved earlier this week. All communications, forms and attachment were sent either through email or online directly into their system. I need to collect the research pass in person, though. Now I can focus on the ethics application, which would be easier with the EPU approval on side. Slightly slower than planned, but surely Insya Allah I will complete this phase.

The editing of a chapter can drives anyone crazy, and facing a sv like mine while editing can drives you to the brink of insanity. Sometimes you wonder...is this guy trying to slow you down?! Yes..No..Yes & No...Arghhhh!!

Anyway, all my editing process has been 'ding-dong belled' for several times already. For some of them I lost count of which draft version they are. I send them for review, he did it in less than a week, I fixed it, send it back...and walla! he found new ones to fix…and the cycle goes on & on. Even the comas and semicolons and what not will need fixing. Sometimes he’d ask me to incorporate new points, which meant more time and more re-editing. Will I ever finish all of this on time?

Well, at least I proved to him, I can still work up to the last days of my pregnancy. He was rather skeptical based on his past experience with expectant mothers being student. Anyway, soon everybody will be on holiday or holiday mood. The university will be in total shut-down for 2 weeks and in leisure mode up to the end of January, which means an almost zero movement (from others, including all the svs and administrators)….ahhh time flies again! Who wouldn't be nuts thinking about it.

For the past 2-3 days, I have been fiddling with one paragraph in my overview chapter which basically states - the divorce rate in Malaysia is high and has been escalating for some time. I have given some basic statistics to 'prove' that contention. (Rasanya sedap2 dah ayat2 ku itu..hu..hu..hu)

My supervisor later returned the chapter to me, circling the word 'high'. I had to actually sit down with him to discuss 'what's wrong with that?' I just don't see it, because in my opinion numbers don't lie (people do, though).

He said the word 'high' is an emotional word. Since I am not a tabloid writer it should be avoided, unless I can actually show that it is. How do I do that?

Well, according to him, quoting one year off the statistic is not enough. It does not show a trend or pattern. It does not show the numbers in a comparison perspective either. So how do I know it's high or it's escalating? huh...

While my brain was think "apa aku nak kelentong ni?", well he beats me to it and said, "Fadzlina, I am sure you can get more stats than this. Don't be bone-lazy (or is it the other way around?)" huh..kena balik kat aku..

That and the fact that once I have those statistic, I must know how to use them. Help! Lemau betul. I hate statistic or whatever looks like the letter "E" terbalik.

So I just slept on all his remarks for one night and spent the last few days looking for the stats and tried to understand them, so that I can actually quote them accordingly. Hahh! So much time spent just fixing one paragraph. Tu baru satu, you know...many more awaits my response. Duh..that's how my sv "squeeze" me to work. Yep, felt like a dummy most of the time, but once I got it, it's EUREKA! Well, at least for that paragraph ler...:-P

My school's Annual Research Postgraduate Festival was held for a half a day yesterday at the John Scott's Meeting House in La Trobe University. It was a nice venue, with the main chamber overlooking a small lake/pond, with ducks and the magpie birds peeping at the windows once and awhile :-P, plus the aircondition = wonderful!

On Friday I went to my SV, Lawrie's last class in La Trobe. The Mediating Family Conflict paper will no longer be offered next semester. Such a loss. Lawrie had served the university for more than 15 years. He has since moved on to working with the Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS) but will retain his adjunct position with LTU.

Interestingly, he designed the content of the paper to be slightly different every semester. If he’d come out with new findings or a new video or new ways of mediating conflict in family matters, which he always does with his colleague from outside the university, usually with Dr Jennifer Mcintosh or the AIFS, then he’ll include them in his class. You never get bored, even though he’s soft spoken, because aside from the interesting videos he showed in class, all the students participating in the class shared all their daily experience in dealing with conflict (most are psychology based, of course). It was a breath of fresh air compared to ‘most’ of the law papers I’m used to in my first 2 degrees. You don’t get that disapproving look and judgmental evaluations of every other statements you made during discussion time. I believe I was more at ease in his class.

The phasing out of the course started with the closing of the Conflict Resolution postgraduate programs in the Law Faculty, mostly due to staff movements to greener pasture and with all the budgets cut, the situation have gotten even worst. The postgraduate program, initially managed by Lawrie’s good friend Tom Fisher was a joint program with the public health sciences program. But since Tom’s ‘semi’ retirement along with more and more staff leaving the law faculty, it’s only ‘logical’ for the law faculty and the public health department to phase out the program.

Conflict resolution ‘people’ are not ‘typical law’ kind of people. I guess there’s a lot of ‘creative’ differences arising from such collaboration. Throw in the money problem…it’ll get even more complicated. So people tend to move on…or move along…if you know what I mean L. As Lawrie mentioned on Friday, lawyers tend to throw in all their latin jargons at parties in family conflict, but at the end of the day it meant nothing to them (parties). What matters is how are we supposed to help those families go through their phase of conflict with the least amount of disruptions as possible. Some may not agree with him, because in legal ‘nature’, the question of ‘my rights’ will always be the prevalent point raised and that’s what the lawyers thought they should be fighting for. But in family conflict post separation, that is secondary especially when the parties have children. The main issue should always be the children and helping them adjust to the situation post separation.

All this remind me of my research problem and the solution I am suggesting...seems so far away from being implemented. But this is only the beginning to a better condition in Malaysia, Insya Allah.

After passing my one year mark, I found that in PhD life you are bound to find people who are 'reluctant' to share their experiences in their research undertakings. It got even worst, if you are doing something in the same area. Perhaps they are afraid that their ideas will be taken up by others. Well, it's a genuine fear.

But then again, it is a PhD endeavour. Unless, you copied the thesis word per word (which would be plagiarism anyway), it's highly unlikely that anyone taking up on your idea would actually produce a thesis as similar as yours. There's just so many things that needs factoring in, that would make one thesis slightly different or way off different than another, even if you are doing the same area.

Sharing your experiences and a whole lot of useful information actually lift up the spirits of your fellow PhD mates. They know that they are not alone and at least they are heading in the right direction. Sometimes motivational words are not enough, you'd need to have some technical advice so you don't fall into the same pit that previous candidates did.

I believe in the concept of 'rezeki'. Perhaps, I faced lots of trouble doing my research, but by sharing with others my experience and warning them against these pitfalls, I maybe easing some of their pathway towards their PhD. What's wrong with that? And Allah is all knowing. One day, my assistance will come, maybe not in this PhD timeframe, but some other time. Insya Allah :-)

I am at UKM to get another current perspective of Malaysian family law and the issues affecting it from an academician view, after several attempts to get one from the practitioner met with a deadlock. However, PM NAMA has been working with several committees of the relevant government department, so her views may be a bit generalize, but an accurate generalization of the current situation. Instead of being too 'right' or 'left', she believes in getting a practical solution to problems based on what is on the plate as much as possible and if it’s impractical suggest a solution that make sense practically and legally.

She stressed on the fact that in establishing the context of the problem, I must not based my argument on hearsay but on proper statistics and if there’s none, conduct my own survey on the current situation. It means more time needed to be spent establishing and proofing the research problem rather than head straight on the solution that I plan on suggesting. :-(

She was right when she said that postgraduate students needed to do some groundwork before embarking on their chosen area/topic and their PhDs. But truth be told, a lot of us, including me, are groping in the dark because my young career background has not exposed me to a lot of contact and network. We have various reason for choosing to do PhD, choosing the area and the topic we ended with. Whatever it is, at the end of the day, we hoped to find some light perhaps the harder way, but finally finding our way …home.

If you want to improve your formal letters writing skills, Malaysia is the place to be. So far I have and 'need' to send almost 10 letters of various forms of request and permission, even if some of the people you request to see don't mind seeing you or some of the documents you requested are not even confidentials.

That does not include thinking of what kinda 'sweet talk' sentences you need to include in those letters....Arggghhh it reminds me of SPM all over again! Nasib baik aku lulus dgn jayanya...ha..ha..ha.

It's a mental exercise, even with templates because you need adjust and edit the contents to suit the person/people you sent the letter to...silap haribulan, you might address them as merely Dato' instead of Yang Berbahagia Dato', or worst addressing them as Tuan, instead of Puan (when clearly the person is a she)...isk..isk..isk... I almost did that. Nasib baik perasaan...Ok, back to letter writing activities ;-(