Sardar's back...courtesy of Kak Rosnelim. Thanks Kak Ros ;-)

Sardar: I haven't slept all night in the train.
Friend: Why?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Why didn't u exchange?
Sardar: Oye! There was nobody to exchange in the lower berth.

A Sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C.
After seeing the Form he had gone to Delhi for filling it up. You know why?
Form said: 'Fill Up In Capital.'.

Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth.
Why? Because his doctor advised him: 'Today's dinner should be light !'

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
You know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking.

Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor.
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25th floor he remembers I'm unmarried!
At 10th floor he remembers I'm Banta not Santa!

On a romantic date sardar's girlfriend asks him: 'Darling ! On our engagement will you give me a ring?'
He said: 'Sure ! What's your phone number?'

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever.
What will come first, chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote:'Due To Rain, No Match!'

What does a sardar do after taking a Xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Why can't sardars dial Nine-Eleven (911) at emergency?
They cannot find the eleven on the phone.

Sardar and his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar: Drink quickly.
Wife: Why?
Sardar: Hot coffee Rs 5 and cold coffee Rs 10

Sardar at an Art Gallery : I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

Sardar news: A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. Man says 'Chin Yu Yan' and dies.
Sardar goes to China to find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'You are standing on the oxygen tube!'

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
Wife: What you are doing?
Sardar: I am seeing how I look while sleeping

Hope all of u enjoyed it, now go back to work!

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .


2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.


Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.


Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.


Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.


At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?


Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '


In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...


Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

Courtesy of PhDComics.com

1. The school-mistress was giving her class of young pupils a test in natural
   history.
   “Bobby Jones,” she said, “tell me where the elephant is found?” The boy hesitated a moment- then his face lit up.
   “The elephant, teacher,” he said, “is such a large animal it is scarcely ever lost.”
   -From the Rail.

2. In a case tried in Fall River before Judge Bell, Dr. George L. Walton of Boston appeared as a witness for the defence.
   
   The Plaintiff claimed that he had been severely injured by a car leaving the rails, and that he had suffered as a result of this injury for over two years, and was still suffering.
   
   Dr. Watson testified that he had examined the Plaintiff and that in his opinion the symptoms that the Plaintiff complained were within his own control and were not genuine.
   
   Upon cross-examination Waldo Reed of Fall River took each symptom separately and made each into a question which ended with – “Do you believe that to be a genuine symptom doctor?” and to each question Dr. Walton said “No.”
   
   The star question was reached and Reed’s voice trembled with emotion as he asked Dr. Walton when pressure was applied to this man’s back between his shoulder blades tears came to his eyes, “do you think this to be a genuine symptom?”
   “No,” said Walton.
   “Dr. Walton, can a man make tears come to his eyes without cause?”
   “Hum,” said Walton, “I have seen lawyers do it in court.”
   -Daily Law Journal cited in 20 Green Bag,431

At an examination for admission to the Bar of Ohio, the examiner propounded this question:
“A great many years ago, there lived a gentleman named Lazarus who died possessed of chattels, real and personal. After this event, to whom would they go?”

The student replied, “To his administrators and heirs.”

“Well, then,” continued the examiner, “In four days he came to life again; inform us; whose were they then?”

“I am not a lawyer but I see no difficulty in the inquiry. Lazarus died and was buried. Since he died, his property, as he left no will, invested in his heirs. The law gives no man the right to die for four days and then to come to life again. Legally, Lazarus could not rise. I have no do doubt the Supreme Court would decide that Lazarus who rose was not the Lazarus who died; he was a new Lazarus. The new Lazarus would of course feel within himself that he was the old Lazarus and could go around bothering his legal friends talking about his legal wrongs; but every lawyer would leave him as quickly as possible saying in parting; “It’s a hard case; but if your heirs can prove your death and they came in legally under the statute, there is no way to make them disgorge. All you can do is this- you’re a young fellow, about sixty, hire about as a clerk, try to save something from your salary so as to go into business again. Building up a great estate and perhaps your heirs will recognize your identity."

-Gleanings.

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.....
In a trial, a small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand.
The witness was a grand motherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Xavier, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Cage. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,"Mrs. Xavier, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Lucas since his youth, too. He's lazy and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you guys asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt." ........